Interracial dating in this day and age shouldn’t be a big deal but it remains a popular topic when it comes to relationships. But like in most things in life, there is quite a discrepancy in this interracial dating game. Most particularly, Asian men are just not featured as prominently as their female counterparts.

Asian women are most likely to intermarry while Asian men, the least likely. Now the statistics here show marriage so dating is another issue but as this other study supports, Asian men are just not hitting it with non-Asian women.

Asian guys are not getting the same love as their white and black brethren. There are plenty of reasons why but here we take a look at a few of the most widespread theories:

Hollywood Hates Them: you can probably count with your fingers how many prominent Asians in Hollywood you can name and most of them are probably women. And for the men, they’re probably either typecast as martial artists or that token smart guy who everyone takes for granted. It’s been commonly brought up that Asians, most particularly Asian men are unjustly portrayed and underrepresented by the western media.

All kinds of negative stereotypes from being a loser, a geek or a weird FOB are common but even the Asian men in leading roles are relegated to being asexualized martial artists. Heck, you’d expect the badass guy in an action movie to not just kill the bad guys but bang the girl as run-of-the-mill Hollywood action flicks have it. But no, they can’t even get a kiss and the consumers are partly to blame for this.

Romeo Must Die was a popular action film in the early 2000s that featured Jet Li, the alpha male Asian actor of his time and yet audiences were completely turned off when they saw his kissing scene with Aaliyah so much so the producers had to pull it from the movie. And what we had left was a platonic hug between the two. Gene Cajayon, Filipino-American director of the 2001 film, The Debut said, “mainstream American tends to get uncomfortable seeing an Asian man portrayed in a sexual light.”

Not-So-Fun Sized: plenty of women (if not most) prefer a man to be taller than they are. It’s about as customary as straight men preferring their women to have a pretty face and a vagina. As stereotypes go, Asian men don’t quite measure up in the height department. This chart identifies that for the most part, Asian countries have a shorter population than western countries. And the short stereotype extends to that fellow between their legs.

Put those stats up against white men and black men who are taller and bigger and you can see why from a physical standpoint people may perceive the Asian man as being lower in the pecking order.

Their own Women Have Disavowed Them: it sounds weird in theory but many people prefer to not date their own ethnicity and Asian women have to be near the top. If statistics don’t already suggest they enjoy marrying non-Asians, take it from a few of these outspoken Asian women why they don’t want to date the men. The reasons for this phenomenon are many but like the blogger mentioned, a lot of it has to do with Asian women not wanting to see themselves as immigrants but want to assimilate to western society. And what better way than to date, screw and marry a token white boy?

Self-Esteem is M.I.A.: the most admirable trait in a partner according to most women? Confidence. It’s scientifically proven. Unfortunately, a lot of Asian men out there may be lacking in these things especially if you parlay the points above (especially the point about their own women not wanting to date them, ouch).

Those could all exacerbate a losing mentality in many of them who feel unattractive especially in light of western male standards. The less confident they feel, the less attractive they appear and the less attractive they appear the less confident they become. It’s a vicious cycle.

Find what’s Familiar: sometimes the issue isn’t about how society views Asian men but how Asian men adapt to society. A lot of Asian men still prefer to date Asian women. As noted in our previous article on the differences between westernized and traditional Chinese women many Asian men may still adhere to the traditional values of Asian women and most western women will just not have those qualities. So there might be a conspiracy to keep Asian men down but more than likely there’s also a lot of Asian men who are fine with dating other Asians (even if it’s not true on the flipside).

Don’t Be Discouraged

Despite all these rather bleak reasons on the outlook of the Asian male dating scene, all isn’t lost. Statistics or generalizations can’t make up for the fact we’re all individuals and Asian guys shouldn’t be intimidated that they have statistically less chances of making it in the dating world. Confidence as stated above is the biggest factor when it comes to appeal so Asian guys should walk tall and be proud of who they are no matter where they came from.

That statistically, Asian men are supposedly underdogs in the dating world should be of inspiration for them. Getting turned down isn’t the worst that could happen. After all, it’s a low risk high reward potential and the few Asian men out there with non-Asian spouses are standing taller than everyone else.